One Man. One Decision. A Changed World.

150 years ago today, one man made a decision that, by God's grace, changed the world.

Here is how Hudson Taylor, the great pioneer missionary to China, described the day:

"Unable to bear the sight of a congregation of a thousand or more Christian people rejoicing in their own security, while millions were perishing from lack of knowledge, I wandered out on the sands alone, in great spiritual agony; and there the Lord conquered my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to God for this service.

I told Him that all the responsibility as to issues and consequences must rest with Him; that as His servant, it was mine to obey and to follow Him—His to direct, to care for, and to guide me and those who might labor with me. Need I say that peace at once flowed into my burdened heart?

There and then I asked Him for twenty-four fellow-workers, two for each of eleven inland provinces (of China) which were without a missionary, and two for Mongolia; and writing the petition on the margin of the Bible I had with me, I returned home with a heart enjoying rest such as it had been a stranger to for months."

A century and a half later, conservative estimates number the Chinese church at 60-100 million believers. And today those believers are sending out their own missionaries to the largely unreached lands from China's western frontier all the way back to Jerusalem.

One man. One decision. And a changed world.

Lately, I've been realizing more than ever the weight my decisions carry, the impact they have on the trajectory of my future as I finish college and move on to whatever lies beyond.

And when I read the lives of Christian heroes like Hudson Taylor (who ranks easily among the five greatest influences on my life), my heart burns for my decisions to matter, for my life to count long after my name has weathered from its gravestone.

When I look at their lives, though, I usually don't look deep enough. I see their disciplined prayer, devotion to Scripture, and single-mindedness and think, I should be more disciplined, devoted, and single-minded too.

But with that thought I focus on the effects and overlook the cause, for beneath their shining legacies lies a great cause: total dependence on God Himself.

And that is what I should be: totally dependent on the God who, as Hudson Taylor said, "uses men who are weak and feeble enough to lean on him.” The only One who can empower me to live a life that counts for eternity.

After all, “all God’s giants have been weak men, who did great things for God because they reckoned on His being with them.”

400 and Counting

Books, not kids. Just to clarify.

Back in the summer of ’06, I started keeping a list of books I read, and just a week ago – eight years later – I finished number 400!

I’m pretty sure I might be classified as an obsessive reader. Only, that is, if never going anywhere without a book and celebrating the end of every semester by buying a book or going to the library (usually both) is considered obsessive. (I know, hopelessly nerdy, right?)

                    

And now to share some of the highlights from the 400. . . .

(Italicized synopses adapted from back cover or website descriptions)

Non-Fiction

Desiring God by John Piper

Multnomah Books

As important today as ever, Desiring God may turn your Christian world upside down. And that will be a good thing, for the glory of God, and for your deepest joy.

Rare are the moments of discovering a life-changing book.

Treasure them.

It was just before Easter 2012, and I was browsing our bookshelves in search of something to fit the season. I pulled down John Piper’s Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die and asked whether the author – who I was somehow unfamiliar with but who has since become one of my favorite and most respected writers – was a good and trustworthy writer. After all, who wants to end up with some heretic’s book? (Not that we stock our shelves with many of those.)

After searching the library’s website for some of his other books, the next thing I knew, I was there in the library holding Desiring God.

In it I encountered carefully reasoned and profoundly biblical arguments that built my trust and challenged my thinking – my entire worldview, really. Because Desiring God has done more than any other book (outside the Bible, of course) to enlarge my view of God and my delight in knowing him.  

So if you ever find yourself with a book in your hands and you’re not quite sure how it got there, read it. It might change your life.

Desiring God is available as a free PDF download here. 

Other great Christian books: Living the Cross-Centered Life by C. J. Mahaney and Forgotten God by Francis Chan.

Peace Child by Don Richardson

Regal Books

Richardson's gripping account and classic tale of treachery and redemption on the mission field.

Discover the miracle of redemptive analogy as the gospel transforms the Sawi people, a tribe of headhunters. A cultural idealization of treachery rendered the gospel meaningless to these people – in fact, Judas was the hero of the story – until . . . well, you really should read it for yourself.  

It’s so hard to choose a favorite book on missions, but this one is close to the top (along with some of the others below).

If you read Peace Child, don’t miss this update on the Sawi people – fifty years later. 

Other great books on missions: Reckless Abandon (pioneer missions) by David Sitton, In Search of the Source (Bible translation) by Neil Anderson, and Bruchko (pioneer missions) by Bruce Olson.

Fiction

Against the Tide by Elizabeth Camden

Bethany House Publishers

After a childhood rampant with uncertainty, Lydia Pallas has carved out a perfect life for herself. She spends her days within sight of the bustling Boston Harbor, where her skill with languages has landed her an enviable position as a translator for the U.S. Navy.

Lydia's talents bring her to the attention of Alexander Banebridge, a mysterious man in need of a translator. Driven by a campaign to end the opium trade, Bane is coolly analytical and relentless in his quest. He cannot afford to fall for Lydia and must fight the bittersweet love growing between them.

When Bane's enemies gain the upper hand, he is forced to turn to Lydia for help. Determined to prove her worth, Lydia soon discovers that carrying out Bane's mission will test her wits and her courage to the very limits.

I bought this book because of its stunning cover and my long-time fascination with sailing ships (as well as the fact that Bethany House has the delightful tendency of publishing much of my favorite fiction). That decision was rewarded by the most engrossing historical novel I’ve read in a long time (if ever).

I loved how the characters sprang to life and how the action (sometimes bizarre but completely believable all at once) flowed so naturally from the characters themselves. 

If you like historical fiction, I highly recommend it. Against the Tide won the RITA Award, Christy Award, and Daphne du Maurier Award last year, so I am not certainly alone in my admiration of this well-crafted novel.

I can’t wait to read her other books!

Check them out at Elizabeth Camden’s author website.

Other great historical romances: The Tutor’s Daughter by Julie Klassen and Ring of Secrets by Roseanna M. White.

Books by G. A. Henty

G. A. Henty has a remarkable talent for weaving a surprisingly complete picture of an era’s politics and history into each of his heroic tales. A warning, though – he’s a nineteenth-century author writing for nineteenth-century boys, so his books aren’t my top pick for an easy read. But if you have a middle schooler who loves reading or history (preferably both), I definitely recommend them. 

I read more than a dozen of his books in middle school (like I said before, nerdy, I know), and since most of his stories trace British history, they have done more than anything else to give me a historical framework for studying British literature. (Although that’s probably not too high on most people’s priority list.)

Other great (and easier to read) historical fiction for kids and young adults: Regina Silsby’s Secret War and Regina Silsby’s Phantom Militia by Thomas J. Brodeur (Age 12 and up), both set in Revolutionary Boston, and Enemy Brothers, set in World War II, and The Reb and the Redcoats (Age 10 and up) by Constance Savery.

What I’m Reading Now

I never can read just one at a time, so I’ve been working on approximately four:

Writing Fiction for Dummies by Randy Ingermanson and Peter Economy. Carrying this one around is great for my self-image.

Duncan’s War by Douglas Bond. Rereading Book 1 of The Crown and Covenant Series, which gives a great introduction to a valiant but little-known group of people: the Scottish Covenanters.

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. A very original and lighthearted look at Greek mythology – which I finished while procrastinating on this post.

Tolkien and C. S. Lewis: The Gift of Friendship by Colin Duriez. How could I not love a book that traces the nearly forty-year friendship of two of my favorite authors – and the ways they influenced each other’s writings.

I’ve heard that “a reader lives a thousand lives before he dies,” so . . . 600 to go!

Which Gospel Are You Preaching to Yourself?

Why is it when I feel like I’m failing spiritually that I’m most inclined to shy away from God, to hold out until I feel better about myself – or better yet, until I somehow “fix myself” enough to feel more pleasing to Him? Why do I run from Him when I need Him most?

It’s a foolish and self-destructive way to live the Christian life.

It’s as ludicrous as a clay jar saying to the Potter, “Could you please step away from the wheel for just a moment until I smooth out this unsightly lump?”

But thankfully, the Potter’s here to stay.

“This is amazing grace –

This is unfailing love!”

His love is unfailing for a reason – because mine isn’t. His love for me doesn’t depend on the steadfastness of my love for Him. His love is from “everlasting to everlasting” (Ps. 103:17) because He is from “everlasting to everlasting” (Ps. 90:2). His love for me depends on who He is, not on who I am.

His love never fails. 

The beginning of the Christian life is by grace alone. Then why do I expect the rest of it to be any different? Why do I depend on Christ for salvation and myself for sanctification?

“It’s Your grace!

From beginning to the end

It’s Your grace!

We will never comprehend

Why You drew the ones who ran from You.

What can we do but offer You praise?”

I need to be preaching the gospel to myself daily. But I’d better be sure it’s the real gospel. The gospel of grace, not of works or self-help.

Looking outside – in the church and in the world – to identify the one preaching a false gospel is easy. It’s a lot harder to identify the one in the mirror.

I am just as dependent on grace today as I was the day God saved me. What a relief! This realization frees me to live the role I am made for – the clay, instead of the Potter.

“You’re the potter, we’re the clay;

You can make us as You choose.”

“Jesus, I sing for all that You’ve done for me!”

Note: This is just one piece of the beautiful (and sometimes bewildering) mosaic that is the Christian life. This is Part 1: God’s Work. There is also Part 2: My Work. I focused on Part 1 here because I’m a Part 2 person by nature, forever setting more goals and summoning more willpower like I explained here. Just thinking about Part 2 sets my mind whirling with commands, responsibility, goals – and stress. So I’m obviously a long way from living a grace-filled balance between the two halves of this paradox. But maybe one day I’ll have the chance to write Part 2. . . .

Don’t miss the next post coming later this week: 400 – and Counting!

1 Thing to Do Before You’re 29

By now we’ve all most likely seen the “Twenty-Something Things to Do Before You’re Twenty-Something” articles – and probably more of them than we wanted to. Some were good, and some were . . . well, you’ve seen them too. 

At the risk of sounding like a raving lunatic, I’d like to give a list of my own. Except this list has only one item. 

1.  Die.

Now at the risk of sounding like a raving lunatic with a strange death wish, I’m going to try to explain what on earth I mean.

I’m talking about dying to myself. Dying to myself enough to be willing to risk whatever it takes – my comfort, my time, my dreams, my health, my possessions, and yes, even my life if necessary – to make Christ known among the peoples who have yet to hear of Him. 

“I have no intention of throwing my life way – that is not my decision; my life belongs to Christ. But if following Christ means risking my life so that others may know Him, I don’t think that is too great a price.” 

– Brother Andrew

Why before age 29? 

January 8, 1956. 58 years ago today, five men, Ed McCully, Roger Youderian, Jim Elliot, Pete Fleming, and Nate Saint, gave their lives for the gospel on a remote river bank in Ecuador while trying to reach a hostile tribe, the Waodani, then known as the Aucas. Jim and Ed were both 28.  

Their courageous example “set into motion events that brought most of the hostile Waodani to faith in Christ. It also served as the impetus for thrusting tens of thousands of missionaries into virtually every country of the world in subsequent decades” (David Sitton, Reckless Abandon).

Why would five men in the prime of life be willing to risk death to reach one group in a remote Ecuadorian jungle?

It could only be that they had found a purpose bigger than life itself. The same purpose Paul found:

“I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God” 

– Acts 20:24

Ed McCully, in his 1950 letter to Jim Elliot explaining his decision to forego law school, writes about this purpose:

“I have one desire now – to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy into it. Maybe he'll send me some place where the name of Jesus Christ is unknown.”

They had figured out something about life:

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” 

– Jim Elliot

What about me? What about us? And most importantly, what about the more than 7,200 unreached people groups in the world?

According to the Joshua Project, of the nearly 17,000 people groups of the world, over 7,200 (more than 40% of the world’s population) are unreached. And the majority (85%) of these unreached people groups is in the 10/40 Window, a region dominated by Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism.

Many of these unreached and unengaged peoples “are unreached (and unengaged) for a reason. They are profoundly hostile to the gospel. But the suffering and martyrdom to come – and they will come – will not be a setback for our sovereign Savior” (John Piper, A Holy Ambition).

Profoundly hostile to it – but in desperate need of it.

Can these peoples be ignored? Are they beyond the scope of the Great Commission’s “all nations”?  

“Are we willing, as the first disciples were, to be the first to go into danger and possibly even to die there in order that those who come behind us might experience the fruit of our sacrifice? What if such sacrifice is exactly what it will take for many of the unreached people in the world who are presently hostile to the gospel to one day surrender their hearts to Jesus?” 

– David Platt, Radical

But no one will be able to risk much – definitely not their life – for a God they don’t know.

I doubt any Athenian Paul addressed on Mars Hill would have sacrificed much, if anything, to their “Unknown God,” just one among a plethora of other deities. And certainly none of them would have died for that God. 

Too often, that’s just how I live. Obligatory homage to a God I know far too little about, while a hundred idols clutter my life. 

I must know this God, because “being deeply satisfied in Christ as your supreme treasure forever is the motive power to lay down your life in love for the good of the nations” (John Piper).

“The power for life-reorienting giving for missions and life-risking going in missions, for suffering and for martyrdom, is the enjoyment of the one whom we preach.” 

– John Piper, A Holy Ambition

I must know this God who left His home for the express purpose of suffering an excruciating death to save me if I am ever going to have the courage to leave mine to tell anyone about Him.

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.” 

– Hebrews 12:1-2

I’m writing this post for myself. Because I’m tired and I need a reminder of this great global purpose. Because I feel like I don’t have the energy to spend getting to know this glorious, global God. Because I’m going to have to make a lot of decisions about my future in the next few years, and I want each of them to count in some way for this global mission. 

I’m writing this from a comfy couch in a safe neighborhood in the Bible belt of the most affluent nation on earth. Not much risk involved here, right? 

But I don’t want to stay on this couch. 

There are so many peoples to reach, there is such an awesome God to glorify, and there is just one life to do it in. What am I going to do with mine? What are you going to do with yours?

“God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life that I may burn for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life but a full one like You, Lord Jesus.” 

– Jim Elliot

Still Amazed

“Your grace still amazes me;

Your love is still a mystery.
Each day, I fall on my knees,
’Cause Your grace still amazes me!”

I just found out that I’m a perfectionist.

A few months ago, when someone called me a perfectionist, I remember thinking, I am not! Sure, I may have planned each semester of my college classes before I started my senior year of high school (I think I’m working off the seventh revision now), I may read texts and emails over and over before I send them just to make sure the wording, punctuation, etc., convey my exact meaning, but a perfectionist? Definitely not!

But now I’m starting to realize just how much perfectionism permeates, and often controls, major areas of my life. I actually caught myself seriously considering not finishing this post because I knew I couldn’t make it “as perfect as it should be.”

One area of perfectionism for me is definitely incorrect punctuation in textbooks and other printed material – it seriously stresses me out! But I’m sure only an English major considers punctuation a major area of life, so I’ll move on.

In all seriousness, though, one big area where perfectionism grips my heart is my haunting fear of failure. I hate making mistakes, especially in front of other people, and I hate myself when I make them. Too often, I structure my life to avoid things I know I’m not good at – to avoid failing. Maybe that’s why I’ve avoided sports and even evangelism, and why I generally prefer writing to talking (since only writing can be proofread to eradicate errors). I guess my dread of failure is pretty deeply rooted in pride. After all, making mistakes is part of being human; admitting them, however, is part of being humble – and an important part, I think.

But even more serious than a nearly debilitating dread of failure is another major area where perfectionism has taken firm hold on my life: a kind of spiritual perfectionism, or legalism relating to sanctification.

When I recognize something wrong in my life, some sin, wrong attitude, or distorted perspective hindering my relationship with God, my typical solution is clearly identifying the problem, determining a solution, and firmly resolving to implement my plan.

Did you notice something missing? Yes – the enabling power of the Spirit.

Of course, my spiritual perfectionism isn’t quite so blatant. There’s usually a confession of failure and a plea for forgiveness and even of help, but for all practical purposes, it’s me trying to fix myself. That’s what makes it legalism – me, in my own strength, trying to keep my own plan or rules in order to please God. Maybe not quite as blatant but all the more subtle and ensnaring because it masquerades so convincingly in my heart as true spirituality.

This spiritual perfectionism causes me, in effect, to live a revision of the Bible, a revision that changes verses like “I can do all things through Christ” to “I can do all things” and cuts out “For it is God who works in you,” leaving only the burden of “Work out your own salvation.”

“Having begun by the Spirit, [am I] now being perfected by the flesh?” All the times my plans and resolve have failed me should have been answer enough all along.

I consider this kind of perfectionism more serious because it undermines the gospel itself – the gospel that called me when I could do nothing to save myself and crowns me, astoundingly, as the freely forgiven child of the King of grace.

And all this time I’ve professed utter disgust with systems that force people to keep certain rules or fulfill arbitrary expectations in order to climb a ladder to spiritual success. It’s funny how easy it is to despise in others what I’m blind to or unwilling to see in my own heart.

But that’s hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy on top of legalistic sanctification on top of perfectionistic pride on top of all my other sins and failings. Obviously, perfection isn’t even a remote possibility. And thankfully, it’s not supposed to be. Because that’s where grace comes in: “Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more; Where grace is found is where You are! And where You are, Lord, I am free – Holiness is Christ in me!”

Well, all this was a pretty startling revelation for one day. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next, but I’m grateful I don’t have to come up with a plan or more willpower. What I need is to be still amazed by Grace, the Grace that sought me out and now promises to complete the work begun in me – in spite of my failings. I can rest in the fact that God’s unmistakable hand has guided me to this point and will carry me the rest of the way. For “’Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far, and Grace will lead me home!”